Between the Cheats
by Leasbian
Summary: Jane has it all. A mother and father that love her. Brothers she can have a pick-up game with. Supporting friends and colleagues. A loving best friend and fiancee whom are one in the same. So why does she ruin it all for one night with someone she doesn't


**_Story:_**Between the Cheats**  
****_Description_****: **Jane has it all. A mother and father that love her. Brothers she can have a pick-up game with. Supporting friends and colleagues. A loving best friend and fiancee whom are one in the same. So why does she ruin it all for one night with someone she doesn't even know very well? Or even care about?**  
****_Warnings:_**The story deals with Jane cheating on Maura, not Jane falling in love with Maura by cheating on her fiancee. **  
Rating: **T for now.**  
I do not own these characters nor am I paid for borrowing them. **

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** Chapter One - I Would Die Before I Divorce Ya**

Two weeks. Fourteen days. 336 hours. 21,600 minutes. 1,209,600 seconds. Give or take. Jane Rizzoli was good at a lot of things. Things like being a cop, and drinking her body weight in beer and living to tell the tale, she was one helluva pitcher for her Boston Homicide baseball team. There were a lot of things she was good at but math was not one of them. So as she sat at her desk with nothing but paperwork to do, she recounted how long it'd been since she ruined her life. It wasn't by the hands of anyone but herself and she took full accountability for it. She only wished it'd counted for something.

Two weeks and all those other numbers she'd just calculated since she'd slept with Detective Gabriel Morgan of Major Crimes. Two years ago, it wouldn't have been really news that Jane slept with a woman. It was a common thing she'd done. On her nights off, if she needed someone to help her forget the hell that is her job she wouldn't dither. Jane believed that sex was sex. It was just sex. There didn't have to be emotional attachments or strings if either party didn't want there to be. She firmly believed two consenting adults could have sex and it mean nothing.

Her fiancée, Dr. Maura Isles, on the other hand hadn't believed such a thing. Actually, she had. Jane was sure she had because there was a plenitude of times she'd recommended to Jane that she just needed a discharge of endorphins and there was no better way to get that then by having sex. Those were the days Jane and Maura weren't dating. Those were the days Jane and Maura weren't to be married in just three months. Which, of course was no longer happening.

Actually, Jane didn't know. She didn't know if she was still in a relationship. She didn't know if she was still to be married in three months. She didn't know if Maura even loved her anymore.

It had been two weeks since she'd had sex with Detective Morgan. She could still remember the look on her fiancée's face when she'd found out.

**_+/+/+/+/+/+_**

_ The morning had been dark. It was brooding like there was an unforeseen storm waging above the city that no one noticed. Jane landed onto the sheets in just a huff. She'd wanted fall asleep before she had to go to work. But from the buzzing of her cell phone in her jeans pocket and the alarm clock on Maura's side of the nightstand, she knew that she was not going to sleep in. She'd washed the smell of the night before off of her skin before she'd crawled into bed with her fiancée. She wore an ensemble of boxer briefs, a white tee shirt, and thick wool socks because Maura liked to keep the room cold. Something about being in a morgue all day and she was bound to get used to it. It was preferential or something, Jane hadn't really cared. All she knew was that it was always freezing in their bedroom._

_ Maura was the first to move. Of course. Hadn't she always been? Jane only rolled over, hoping Maura would allow her this one day to sleep in. And it seemed to be going in her favor as the honey-blonde rolled out of the bed and walked into the en suite bathroom. The light irradiated from the bathroom and cast light onto Jane's side of the bed. She groaned and turned over to face the window that had a streetlight peeking through._

_ She heard the other woman's footsteps. Careful. Deliberate. Maura must have thought she'd gotten caught up in a case all night. The thought made Jane frown and she knew she would have to come clean. She felt like shit. She felt like…well she felt like her senior boyfriend. He'd cheated on her because she wouldn't put out. Hell, he'd cheated on her for quite some time. When she'd found out, he'd begged her to stay with him. They'd been happy. He was in love with her but…he'd needed a physical relief that she hadn't offered him. At the time, she'd still been a virgin and she hadn't known the power sex held over the human mind. She hadn't understood. So she'd ended things with him. It'd been easy back then._

_ Maura respected order. So Jane's jeans on the floor and her heavy boots near the door weren't to do. She heard her fiancée sigh at having to pick up after her yet again. She must have smelled the liquor on her shirt._

_ When the buzzing in her jeans pocket started again, Jane thought nothing of it. She figured Maura would take care of it. Set the alarm for a later time and plug it up to the charge on the nightstand next to her._

_ But instead of that, Maura said her name. It wasn't in a exhausted voice, or a goaded tone, or a pacifying voice. It wasn't anything Jane had ever heard and it was enough to cause alarm. The name on Maura's tongue was shattered and diffident and aggrieved. It was broken as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing. But, Jane couldn't see what she was seeing. Jane didn't know._

_ "What?" She was on her feet in seconds, reaching for her holster. Her hand stopped in its tracks when Maura held up a pair of panties. They were pinched between her index finger and thumb, held a great distance from her. "Maur-,"_

_ "What are these, Jane?" There was no anger to her voice. Only fortitude and constructing agony that the brunette wish she didn't have to see. She'd barely remembered the night before. She just knew she'd gone to the Dirty Robber at midnight because she didn't want to go home. She remembered seeing Detective Morgan there. She remembered they'd gotten a booth together and they'd started talking. She remembered leaving the Dirty Robber. Then she remembered this morning, waking up next to Detective Morgan. Their limbs were tangled together and she found herself at a certain ease that she'd thought she could only feel with Maura. _

_ Still, she remembered enough to know she'd cheated. And while Maura questioned her about it now, she had nothing to say. It wasn't because she didn't want to say anything, although if she'd had a lawyer present they probably would have told her to tread lightly. She didn't have anything to say because she didn't know what to say._

_ "Who do these belong to?" Maura tried a different tactic and Jane really wished she wouldn't. She didn't throw them. They fell to the floor and Jane wasn't prepared for this. Anger she could handle. Hell, even crying she could handle. In her Beat days, she'd answered a lot of domestic disturbances with cheating spouses. The wives usually threw things and swung their fists. Maura didn't do any of this._

_ Maybe it was because Maura was high class. But once or twice, Jane'd been called to the rich part of town too. And the wives were all the same. Angry. Hurt. Betrayed. And they reacted the only way they knew how. Hell, even some of the faithful husbands with the unfaithful wives lost their heads sometimes._

_ So, all of that Jane could handle. She was prepared for it. Maura didn't do any of it. She didn't know if it was because she was still tired or if she didn't care or if she just reacted differently to things like this. In an instant, the woman staring back at her with a matching look of shock, and a mix of betrayal, wasn't the woman she'd fallen in love with. It wasn't Maura she was looking at._

**_+/+/+/+/+/+_**

Two weeks, and Maura still hadn't said a word to her. She hadn't really said a word to anyone. Jane watched, from a distance of course, and Maura hadn't even talked to Angela, Jane's mom.

The two were close. Closer and Jane and her Ma had ever been. She was certain Angela liked Maura better and truth be told, she actually didn't quite mind it. It gave her the chance to spend time with her dad without being nagged at. When she'd introduced Maura to her Ma as her girlfriend, their relationship had changed. It wasn't just her daughter's best friend that she was bringing around anymore. It was Angela's potential daughter-in-law. A woman that was going to carry on the Rizzoli name. Along with their children, if they'd decided to have any.

Needless to say, in that two week span, Jane watched as Maura became the Queen of the Dead again. She didn't speak to anyone. She did her job sufficiently, but she did so from her morgue. She no longer went over the meanings of the results with the members of the Homicide Unit, especially Jane. Somehow she'd even convinced Cavanaugh to get Operations to call someone else when Maura was working a case. Jane was not to be a part of her case. And somehow, Cavanaugh had allowed it.

In that two week span, Jane had become distant herself. She hadn't told anyone that she and Maura had split but they were all cops. They knew. It also didn't help that Detective Morgan had opened her big mouth about it. Jane had sipped her black cup of coffee bitterly as she watched the other woman gossip with the other female Detectives about the night of lustful passion she had with Jane Rizzoli.

The humiliation when a table of your peers hear about all of the things you like to do in bed when you're drunk. Even more embarrassing when you're standing right there to witness it all.

But, the joke was on Detective Morgan because not only had Jane found her cruiser vandalized with the word "Whore" written in spray point on it. But, only a few rows down, had Morgan's cruiser been vandalized with the same word.

It was safe to say if they hadn't known by then, the entire department knew by now. So, there Jane sat in her seat counting the days it had been since her life had been turned upside down. No one felt bad for her. Not even Frost, her partner. In fact, he'd actually shown the most distaste for Jane's affair. After all, not only did his father drag his mother and him around the world for his job. He also cheated on his mother every time he was away. He reviled cheaters.

Korsak, her old partner, had been the most forgiving. Given that he himself had cheated in two of his marriages. Having a total count of four so far, the last being the only one that just didn't work out because their hearts weren't completely in it. The first because he was off fighting in the Vietnam war and his wife hadn't known if he was dead or alive.

Korsak was a good friend through it all for her. Her mother hadn't known just yet. She wondered if Maura was saving that for her. Actually, aside from her brother Frankie, no one in her family knew. None of her friends outside of work knew either.

Jane wasn't even sure if BPD even knew her relationship was over. Maura hadn't come to work crying every day. Neither had Jane, for that fact. Neither of them cried at crime scenes or in supply closets or did any amount of crying at work. To be completely honest, Jane hadn't cried at all. She'd wanted to. When she was drunk at night and sleeping in the guesthouse when her fiancée, or ex fiancée, was just several feet away and she was used to holding her at night. She'd wanted to cry. She'd wanted to beg Maura to just talk to her and tell her what she could do to make it better. But, Maura hadn't said a word to her.

Every morning, Jane watched from the kitchen of the guesthouse as Maura made coffee and breakfast for herself. She tried to time it correctly, only to meet Maura outside by gamble. As they both would exit their homes and lock the doors, Jane would act as if it was a surprise to see her.

She'd throw a simple "good morning," across the walkway to Maura like it was a lifeline and they both were drowning.

But, Maura was unremitting. Jane always loved Maura's passion. Her mind was usually set in stone once she'd made it. The Medical Examiner would just walk to her car and leave. She wouldn't toss even a look in Jane's direction.

It wasn't just that she wanted to talk to Maura that she was tenacious with her antics. It was also because they were best friends. Even before their relationship, they'd been best friends. They talked about anything and everything. They knew things about each other that were dead to the rest of the world. And slowly, Jane watched as Maura recoiled back into her shell. Her sheath of science and autopsies.

And every night, when she stayed up late watching the ceiling fan flurry above her, she wondered who Maura had to talk to if she hadn't talked to Angela. If Maura didn't have her, then who? Who was the person she told about it all? Sometimes Jane thought Maura didn't have anyone. Sure, she and Constance had an established relationship now. Now, they'd acted as mother and daughter. But, Maura wasn't that open with her own mother just yet. So, who?

And that was what worried her late at night. Not that she'd ruined her relationship with Maura. That, too, hurt a lot. But, that she'd ultimately given Maura every reason not to trust again. That she'd given Maura no reliance in humanity, and that even she could be cruel. She worried that Maura had no one now. No friends. No family. No one. Jane was everything to her, even Jane knew that. Sure, she'd given Maura her friends. She'd given Maura her family. But, there was no one on the planet that Maura trusted more than Jane. Now Maura was completely alone.

Jane ran her fingers through her hair as she finally just gave up on the paperwork on her desk. It was a never ending pile and she was sure Cavanaugh was punishing solely her for pissing off the Chief Medical Examiner, and thus pissing off the entire lab of geeks. Of course, he would never admit to it. And maybe it was just her frustration for the entire ordeal that had her suspicious but still. Here she sat on a Friday night while all the other Detectives went home or had calls coming in and Operations had specifically taken her off the schedule tonight.

She kicked her feet on her desk and folded her fingers together on her lower abdomen. She leaned her head back and stared up at the ceiling. She counted the minutes and seconds again. The numbers were only slightly higher. But each passing second rolled over with heavy and thick trepidation like a heavy set man in bed.

"Talked to the Doc today," Frost said hesitantly from his seat. He wasn't hesitant because he didn't if she wanted to hear it. No, he was unsure if he'd wanted to say it. Jane reminded him of his father. It wasn't just cheating. Her dedication to her work, her loyalty to the citizens she protected, and her ability to be intimidating with hardly trying. Jane was a lot like Frost's father and now she was a cheater much like him. He hated to look at his partner and feel the disgust he felt for the man that broke his mother's heart.

But, as he watched her, he saw something he never saw in his father. Remorse.

In time, his mother's heart wounded heart healed and she found someone else. If she'd learned to forgive his father, surely he should too. But it was easier said than done. Maybe he could start with Jane. She didn't actually hurt him. It was Maura she'd hurt. But he'd cared a lot about Maura.

Jane's head snapped up and she almost fell out of her chair. "Yeah?" She righted herself in her seat. "What'd she say?"

He shrugged his shoulders as he shuffled a stack of papers. Yeah, he was going to forgive her. But, he was going to make her work for it. "It wasn't about you." He slid the papers into a large manila envelope.

"Then what was it about?" Jane swallowed. A lump of hope that was now squashed. "She say how she's doing?"

"Yes." He nodded. He looked at her. "She says she's fine."

"She can't lie…" Jane looked heartbroken at this. Maybe Maura just didn't care. Maybe that was why she didn't say anything to Jane. Maybe that was why when Jane had returned home the day Maura found out, all of her belongings had been moved to the guesthouse and the locks had been changed. It'd been so easy for Maura to push her out of her life because Maura didn't care anymore. Maybe that was why she'd pushed all of their friends and Jane's side of the family away. Because she just didn't care about them again.

"I think she was just giving me a vague answer." Frost let on. She looked wretched and as much as she deserved it, she was his partner. He couldn't choose sides but if he had to, it _should_ have been Jane's. Even if he'd wanted to choose Maura's. Frost thought _someone_ had to. "I didn't ask how she was about you cheating. I just asked how she was. You know the Doc. She can turn a lie into a truth by just technicality."

"Yeah," the brunette slouched in her seat. "I do know her." At least she used to. Maybe she still did but she didn't know herself anymore. Because Jane wasn't a cheater…so why did she cheat?

"She talk to you at home, yet?" Jane only shook her head. "Give it time. It took my mom a month to just call my dad after she moved us back here."

"It's been two weeks-,"

"_You_ weren't cheated on." Jane had to give it to him. He was steadfast. Sure, during work she knew his loyalty lied with her because they were partners. But, on this? He didn't have her back. And couldn't decide if she was gratified or miffed by the concept. She certainly didn't have the right to ask him to choose her side. _She_ was the one that cheated. How could anyone support that?

"Be there for her, Frost." Jane found herself saying.

"I will be." Even though he hadn't said it, Jane still heard the rest of that sentence. _"Even though you weren't." _

She nodded her appreciation and returned her attention back to the ceiling.

"Mind if I ask you one thing?"

She only shrugged.

"Why?" She knew what he was asking.

Why did she throw away her entire relationship, her entire friendship with Maura for a one night stand? Why'd she do it for someone that meant nothing to her? Why'd she hurt the woman she loved more than anyone in the world and vice versa? Jane didn't know. He could tell she hadn't actually thought about why she'd done it. All she'd actually thought about was that she'd _done_ it but not _why_. She didn't even know there was a reason besides the fact that she was drunk.

But deep down, Jane knew that she didn't want to go home that night. If she could figure out why she didn't want to go home, then she could figure out why she'd ruined the best thing that had ever happened to her.

"I don't know." Was all she settled for. She dropped her shoulders, disappointed she couldn't give a full answer.

She heard his quiet question. "Was it worth it?"

Was it? Jane asked herself. Sleeping in the guesthouse. Having to try to run into her ex fiancée outside a home she used to call hers. Being branded an adulterous whore. All that and she hurt Maura. Was it worth not knowing who was looking back at her in the mirror? "No." It didn't take much deciding. "It wasn't worth it."

Frost seemed mollified by her answer so he turned off the lamp on his desk. "I'm gonna head home." He had his coat in his hands. "See you in the morning."

"See ya," she watched him walk away. Jane knew Maura was still there in the building. She knew it because if she didn't know who Maura was now, she at least knew her fiancée's habits. And she knew that Maura liked to work just as hard as the Detectives during a case. They'd had a copycat strangler on their hands and Maura was going to be at the precinct for another hour. And so was Jane.

If Maura wasn't going to talk to her, Jane would swallow that pill and deal with it. But, she wasn't going to let Maura stay at the precinct until only God knows what hour by herself and have to walk in the garage at that hour alone. She could say it was because she wanted to be close to Maura, at least for once in the day. She could say it was because she wanted to protect her. There were so many reasons Jane waited for Maura in the BPD garage. Each night, Maura never said a word to her but simply got into her car and drove home. To their home. Jane never expected anything different. They were falling into a new pattern and she didn't know what to do to change it. She didn't think she had any right to.

Jane looked at the clock on her desk. Two weeks and one day since she made the biggest mistake of her life.

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**AN: I'm looking for someone to design a cover for this. I'm more gifs than graphics. I can make an overlay of gifs but I absolutely cannot blend two photos together. I don't understand my photoshop skills. **

**Also, I can't decide right now or not if Maura is going to forgive Jane. So, already I cannot tell you guys if this story is going to end with Rizzles or not. This might just be one of those stories with a not-so-great ending. And if that's not your cup of tea, I advise you to just stay away from the story. I can't even tell you where this story is really going. I have ideas but I tend to stray away from my original goals for a story and considering I have no tolerance for cheaters (check my tumblr I can't stand Owen Hunt from Grey's) this story is going to be a challenge for me to write. **

**The characters may be out of character and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. When every writer creates a character or recreates a character, in their head, they're going to be who the author wants them to be. I think it's okay to be a little different. **

**Also, does anyone know how to turn off anonymous reviews? I feel like people tend to give their crude opinions when they're hidden behind anonymity. Also hope that'll prove I'm not in this for the reviews because by turning off anonymous reviews, I'll cut my reviews in half and that's okay. I found out I can reply to reviews and I would very much like to answer questions you guys have and I don't think I can do that with the anonymous ones? I'm not sure. **

**I forgot what else I had to say but go to my profile for the link to my fics only tumblr. There you can read updates or ideas about stories and any other opinions/thoughts I have about my stories. **

**With all of that said, thanks for joining this train with me again and I hope I don't disappoint. **


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